Clash, spar, duel, compete… Read the headlines and you’d think the two candidates for President had dueling Afghanistan policies. Sadly not.

Here’s the difference: Republican John McCain says that in his view, the troop escalation worked so well in Iraq, that we need another like it in Afghanistan.

Democrat Barack Obama, meanwhile, opposed the so called surge, but says the problem was that military resources that were needed in Afghanistan were misdirected to Iraq.

Beneath the noise and bickering, the sameness is apparent. Both men want to send more troops to Afghanistan. Obama has proposed sending two more combat brigades—about 7,000 troops—almost immediately upon gaining office. McCain is also advocating sending more troops.

Here’s how the troop deployments are going so far: this weekend, in Iraq US forces shot dead the seventeen-year-old son of the governor of Salahuddin province. On Sunday, in Afghanistan, US-led troops and Afghan forces killed nine Afghan police officers after they mistook the officers to be militants. In a third incident, NATO said it accidentally killed at least four Afghan civilians Saturday night. A NATO soldier also was killed in the east.

That’s no way to win friends and influence people. What Afghans need, like Iraqis before them, is help not occupation. And military messes like this aren’t only counterproductive, they’re barely mess-ups. They’re an utterly predictable part of any military deployment.

Most Afghans interviewed on Obama’s visit said the help they need is economic: Healthcare, Housing, roads, order. That’s just what the US promised before the invasion. And guess what, it’s what the Taliban offer too, from their safety zone in Northern Pakistan. Every death at US hands is another score for the nearest anti-American.

What’s wanted isn’t just a new person in the White House, but actually, a new approach.

The F Word is a daily commentary by Laura Flanders.